by Derra Nicole Sabo
A wonderful opportunity borne out of a complex and challenging experience, to recall the good times with loved ones, the chance to express the rarely spoken profound specifics of what binds friends and family together.
This is a heart-warming collection of letters to loved ones that explores the wonder, frailty and extraordinary qualities of friendship, family, love and life.
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How y’all doin’? Perfectly imperfect I hope. Well, I come to you today because I have a favor to ask of you. I
need you to do me a kindness. Don’t worry, it won’t take up much of your time and it doesn’t cost a single shiny
Lincoln, however, it does require a few ounces of brain power and an open space in your heart. I have a story for
you… Yes, I know what you’re thinking, “Oh great, another book about a nobody’s life. A tale of how a nobody had a great childhood then hit a pot hole or two while growing up, but in the end found herself and had a happily ever after.” Well congrats, you are 50% correct.
This is indeed a tale of a nobody’s life, however, the bits about finding herself and having a happily ever are
slightly off. My tale is about a young girl born with an unwanted label cemented onto her forehead, a label that
cast a beautiful curse upon her heart. Do you know what it feels like to be a happy kid and then to have that rug
pulled from under your feet? To go from feeling broken to damaged to completely worthless in one swift motion? How about wanting so much to fit in that it starts to break you down into a reflection that your 20/20
vision can no longer make out? To be marked as “different”?
I have a story to tell you, a story filled with happiness drowned out by brokenness, sprinkled with darkness and topped with a delicious suicide attempt.
Served alongside is a refreshing shot of completely losing one’s self, ending in rebuilding an underdog to
become an invincible version of a beautifully imperfect human.
So here we are; just you and I sitting in a cozy place getting ready for the story that I have to tell. Now
whether you listen or not is your decision...
Ok…ready? I’m going to jump almost 30 years into the future, well it would be the future for you since we don’t
know one another yet. So wait, hold up, I guess I’m starting you off in my present... Yep, we’ll go with that.
Less confusion. I’m beginning you at my present and we shall travel back together through the madness. Sounds
Three months before the big day (aka turning 30), I wrote several letters to my family and friends reminiscing down memory lane. Each one kissed with personal touches of memorable moments, lessons impressed into myself and lessons that I hope I impressed into their hearts. Confessions released (I figured it’s safe to release some evidence due to the statute of limitation now being up), laughter turned into spontaneous smiling and tears stubbornly shed. All these snippets of my life and mind locked away in a long white paper rectangle labeled “My last kiss goodnight”.
Now I’m assuming that after reading this you have a possible conclusion swimming around your brain and if
that conclusion is that I wrote out letters to my family along with my “last wishes” then you’d be right. A
moment of my heart palpitating led my white knuckled hands to make sure that my loved ones were prepared
just in case the Grim Reaper and I decided to throw an afterlife party.
So here I am sharing a few shining pieces of these letters about the people that protect my stitched scars.
Embrace its honesty and pass on its contagiousness.
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Hey guys, how's life treating you? My intensions for this quick blog post is to introduce myself, give you the 411 with what's what. So to start, my name is Derra or as my friends call me D. I was born in Covina California, i have moved around a few times, but have remained a Cali chica livin' that SoCal life of summer days spent at the beach and 50% of my diet being a mix of mexican food (carnitas tacos) and In-N-Out burgers, lol. Growing up I wanted to be a fashion designer as well as a drummer in a punk rock band, I was and still am a big fan of band like Blin 182, Green Day, Pink, Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, Twenty One Pilots and Artists like Beyonce, Lady GaGa and Eminem. How writing came into play is crazy. I had always enjoyed writing since a youngster, just jotting down the random thoughts that spun in my imaginitive mind, yet as I got older writing became more of an escape.
An escape from living life with a rare disorder, an escape from the surgeries, the bullies, my anxiety and an escape from my suicidal thoughts. I am not the most open person, emotions such as sadness, anger, grief, stress...these emotions place my mouth in lock down mode while my mind is racing DK style. Writing started as an innocent hobby, then morphed into an escape, then transformed into a career choice. More than that though, writing has helped me to heal many mental wounds, it has allowed my voice to speak, it has allowed me to take my broken story and share it with those who are going through their own storms. When life knocks us down, when we live in the darkness, we feel as though we are alone, but we're not. I know first hand just how difficult and nerve wracking it is to speak up, to ask for help. I never understood why I survived as long as I have, especially with a disorder that was destined to kill me years ago, and even though I still struggle with the reasoning as to why I am still resideing on this planet, I am certain of one aspect...I am here to to show the world that broken doesn't mean damaged.
My name is Derra Nicole Sabo. I am a daughter, a sister, a best friend, a foodie, a coffee addict, a bookworm, a beach baby, a music lover and movie buff. I am a writer, a blogger and a survivor. I am an underdog with a story to tell and I hope that you'll take a few moments to listen.
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