Tainted Bride
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BLURB He devoted his life to seeking justice. But would she get any for him? It was an ordinary day for police officer Barry Weir. It was the end of shift, he was tired, and he just wanted to get home to his wife and kids. But someone had other plans for him, shooting him down and forcing him to make the ultimate sacrifice. When news of Weir’s murder reaches the department, it leaves Detective Madison Knight and every cop in the Stiles PD itching for revenge. It cuts Madison’s boyfriend, colleague, and Weir’s childhood friend, Troy Matthews, deepest of all, driving him away from everyone he loves just when they need one another the most. With evidence pointing to a gang-related drive-by, Madison and her team investigate the town’s seedy underbelly in search of justice for their fallen brother. But the deeper they dig, the more convoluted the case becomes. Now they need to figure out if this was a random shooting as part of a gang initiation, a straight-up hate crime, or a targeted kill. But with members of the Stiles PD under attack, they have to do it fast…before more officers pay with their lives.
CAROLYN ARNOLD is an international best-selling and award-winning author, as well as a speaker, teacher, and inspirational mentor. She has four continuing fiction series—Detective Madison Knight, Brandon Fisher FBI, McKinley Mysteries, and Matthew Connor Adventures—and has written nearly thirty books. Her genre diversity offers her readers everything from cozy to hard-boiled mysteries, and thrillers to action adventures. Both her female detective and FBI profiler series have been praised by those in law enforcement as being accurate and entertaining, leading her to adopt the trademark: POLICE PROCEDURALS RESPECTED BY LAW ENFORCEMENT™. Carolyn was born in a small town and enjoys spending time outdoors, but she also loves the lights of a big city. Grounded by her roots and lifted by her dreams, her overactive imagination insists that she tell her stories. Her intention is to touch the hearts of millions with her books, to entertain, inspire, and empower. She currently lives just west of Toronto with her husband and beagle and is a member of Crime Writers of Canada and Sisters in Crime. Connect with CAROLYN ARNOLD Online: Website - 
Stacia Palmer had one goal in life--to become an NFL quarterback’s wife. For the past three years, she’s seduced her way through the university’s football line-up. But when she finally has a quarterback fresh off the draft, Stacia experiences a shocking change of heart. One that sends her back to the place she never thought she'd return to. Vegas. Once there, she finds that no one believes her. Least of all Pace Larson, her sexy on-again off-again ex who has never quite gotten over her leaving him for someone else. Of course, he’s now the starting quarterback and determined to claim her as his prize. But can Stacia give him a second chance when he’s toyed with her emotions into the fourth quarter? Or will they run out of time?
Stacia felt a presence at her shoulder. She recognized his cologne before she even looked up. It smelled like desire and late-night sex marathons. Pace. “What do you want?” Stacia asked, not looking up. “Just coming to check on you,” Pace said in a sexy low tone that sent a shot of need straight between her legs. Damn him for being able to do that to me! She jerked her head up. “Why?” “Because you look miserable, even from across the room.” “I do not!” He raised an eyebrow, and she had to keep from sighing. That face. God, if he wasn’t such an asshole… “The hair flip earlier, Pink? Really? Sure sign of distress. You practically called me over here.” “Don’t call me that,” she said through gritted teeth. He smirked at her response. “And I didn’t call you over here. I don’t even want to see you.” “You can talk to me, you know.” He leaned his hip against the bar. He was almost touching her but not quite. She could feel the heat of his skin. “Come on, let’s go outside. Away from all this noise.” “If you think for one second that I’m going to go anywhere with you, you’re insane,” she said, straightening. He brushed her hair off one shoulder and just barely skimmed his finger across her exposed collarbone. She stiffened. Her entire body throbbed. No one else elicited these primal emotions from her. Not even the guy she’d given her virginity to. The guy no one knew about. “I promise I won’t touch you,” he growled out. “Unless you beg me to.” Stacia smacked him in the chest and stormed away. What an arrogant jackass! How dare he say those things to her! For all he knew, she was still dating Marshall. Pace was so testy over the fact that he thought she’d slept with Marshall when they were together, yet here he was, seducing her, while he still believed she was with Marshall. Ass! Pace chuckled behind her. “Come on, Stacia. I’m just messing with you.” He followed her across the crowded room until she reached the restroom. Then, he did exactly what he’d said he wouldn’t. He grabbed her arm and kept her from entering a place he wouldn’t follow. “Seriously, what’s up?” he asked. “Do you really want to know?” Fury and also desperation coated her features. She really wanted to tell someone. She wanted it off her chest. “Yeah. Though this fire is pretty hot.” He raised an eyebrow. “God, is everything just a joke to you?” she asked. His eyes shot straight through her. “Not everything.” “Feels like it. I feel like a joke to you.” “Most things, Pink,” he said, stepping closer, “but not you. Never you.” Stacia tensed as she forgot the world around her. Pace had a way of doing that—making her lose herself. But all she did by losing herself was open herself up for him to hurt her. Time and time again. “Pace,” she said through a shuddering breath. “I won’t take what isn’t mine.” “Good.” “I just still consider you mine.”
K.A. Linde is the USA Today bestselling author of the Avoiding series and the All That Glitters series as well as seven additional novels. She get up as a military brat traveling the United States and even landing for a brief stint in Australia. She has a Masters degree in political science from the University of Georgia and is the current head coach of the Duke University dance team.
Today we have the blog tour for Love Me Crazy by Camden Leigh. We are so excited to share this fantastic new contemporary romance with you! Be sure to check it out and grab your copy today! 
About Love Me Crazy: “We’re broken in the most screwed-up perfect way. It was inevitable we’d end up together.” Cassidy Beck is focused on one thing, and one thing only: planning the Southern wedding of the century in Lucas Hill, South Carolina. Fresh from a tragic breakup, Cassidy’s not in the mood for any distractions. But when antebellum hottie Quinn Covington arrives in all his sexy, tattooed glory, he might prove to be the biggest distraction of them all. MIA ever since his father’s death, Quinn doesn’t plan to stay any longer than it takes to start his dad’s vintage truck. But the sight of Cassidy trying to fend off his family’s pet turkey sends him for a loop. Red-haired and fierce, she’s just as broken as he is. But even though Cassidy’s past makes her the only one able to understand Quinn’s own scars, they also make her wary. After all, how can she trust him with her heart when everyone else she’s ever given it to has thrown it away? Sexy, heart-wrenching, and full of Southern charm, this new contemporary romance from Camden Leigh shows just what happens when two people who are perfectly broken end up piecing each other back together. Get your copy today! 
Camden Leigh is a sucker for first kisses, first hook-ups and anything that adds the unforgettable first sparks of love–humor, seduction, hot-n-sexy bods, angsty determination...what have you! Her stories expose the real dirt, grime and grit that befalls a seemingly perfect relationship, the heartache as a result, and the growth, perseverance and strength it takes to make flaws work for her characters. She wants her characters to experience love that wraps arounds their hearts, turns them into sizzling flames and results in a grand finale of fireworks. When Camden isn’t writing, she’s either crafting, flicking through images of gorgeous paper, saturated palettes or...um, lip-lickin' washboard abs. When feeling guilty, she attempts to keep up with her energetic kiddos by beach combing, kayaking, golfing (can it really be called golfing if a seven-year-old beats you?) or being that crazy person at a concert. Her addictions: chocolate covered raspberries, real southern sweet tea (not the fake stuff with the sugar crystals hanging out in the bottom of the cup), her pups and pretty paper she’ll never use. Connect with Camden: twitter: 
In the second full novel in an Atlantic Maritime series, an assumed loyal son is the first suspect after his invalid mother’s surprise death. Was the suspect impatient for his inheritance? Or did old age catch up to the dear elderly lady? Can Aaron and Mandy teaming up again help explain his patient’s death before the wrong man is arrested?
Welcome to the first full novel in an Atlantic Maritime series soaked in romance and murder. When a family friend of Mandy Hays washes up on shore, everything points to homicide. But how, when he was alone on a fishing trip? Her sexy neighbor, Dr. Aaron Nicholson, knows much more than he can say. As the evidence piles up, all of the victim’s family and closest friends seem guilty. Need to know more? Grab your copy of this “enticing page turner!” today.
ifs in order to share her lovable characters and their worlds with readers. She currently lives in Kansas City with her husband, daughter, dog, and a few cats. When not at the computer, you'll find her in the park for a jog or at the yarn store's clearance section. Find Laura online at 
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FEBRUARY 14, 2017
I WANNA BE LOVED BY YOU
For a young woman swept into international adventure, romance can’t be far behind…
The 1920s are in full swing when Sadie Loudon leaves her grandfather’s stodgy vicarage, and she dreams of the glamour and excitement she’s seen on the silver screen. But before she even begins work at the storied Grand Russe Hotel, she is ushered into London’s glittering nightlife by a handsome young businessman intent on introducing her to the pleasures available to a Bright Young Thing. Is it a fleeting romance…or something even more intriguing?
Les Drake is on the lookout for Bolsheviks when he encounters sweet, sexy Sadie. A British Secret Intelligence agent, Les has more experience with the seedy underside of the city than with innocent chambermaids, but he can’t deny that Sadie tempts him. Using her as part of his cover seems like a brilliant plan until the danger of his assignment threatens what has suddenly become a love he can’t bear to lose…
Heather Hiestand was born in Illinois, but her family migrated west before she started school. Since then she has claimed Washington State as home, except for a few years in California. She wrote her first story at age seven and went on to major in creative writing at the University of Washington. Her first published fiction was a mystery short story, but since then it has been all about the many flavors of romance. Heather’s first published romance short story was set in the Victorian period, and she continues to return to historical fiction as well as other subgenres. The author of many novels, novellas, and short stories, she has achieved best-seller status at Amazon and Barnes and Noble. With her husband and son, she makes her home in a small town and supposedly works out of her tiny office, though she mostly writes in her easy chair in the living room.
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Between Breaths
Author: Alexa Padgett
Series: Seattle Sound Series (Book 2)
Genre: Contemporary Romance
Publisher: Self Published
Release Date: TBA
Grief brought them together
A hospice center is no place to fall in lust. But with his world cracking during his estranged mother’s last days, Hayden Crewe needs something sweet to focus on. It doesn’t matter that he’s the backbone of Australia’s hottest international rock group—here, watching his mother die, he’s more alone than ever. So when he meets long-legged, clear-minded Briar Moore, he suddenly knows exactly what will fill the hole inside.
Fortune will drag them apart
Briar has just escaped a job and relationship that nearly crushed her. Crawling out of the wreckage of her previous life, she’s done playing it safe. Sexy, vibrant Hayden is what she wants, and Briar is going to take him. For as long as she can…
Out of heartbreak comes hope
With their time short and the ghosts of their pasts haunting every moment, Briar and Hayden know they’ve fallen too deep. While those few, intense days changed them both forever, everyone knows a connection this intense should burn out as fast as it ignited…
Book Links
Amazon
A hospice center is no place to fall in lust. But with his world cracking during his estranged mother’s last days, Hayden Crewe needs something sweet to focus on. It doesn’t matter that he’s the backbone of Australia’s hottest international rock group—here, watching his mother die, he’s more alone than ever. So when he meets long-legged, clear-minded Briar Moore, he suddenly knows exactly what will fill the hole inside.
Fortune will drag them apart
Briar has just escaped a job and relationship that nearly crushed her. Crawling out of the wreckage of her previous life, she’s done playing it safe. Sexy, vibrant Hayden is what she wants, and Briar is going to take him. For as long as she can…
Out of heartbreak comes hope
With their time short and the ghosts of their pasts haunting every moment, Briar and Hayden know they’ve fallen too deep. While those few, intense days changed them both forever, everyone knows a connection this intense should burn out as fast as it ignited…
Book Links
Amazon
I stared into those beautiful blue eyes. The tightness eased. Breathing wasn’t a chore. “I’m not saying tomorrow will be better.”
Her lips flipped up in a sardonic smile. “It’s possible tomorrow will be worse. This is hospice after all.”
“I’m expecting worse.” I tilted my head back and groaned. “I don’t want my mum’s death to drag out. Too many people are counting on me.”
“You’ll do the best you can.”
“Doesn’t feel good enough.”
“Welcome to the club. Speaking of, my sister doesn’t believe I met you, Mr. World Famous Rock Star.”
I raised my eyebrow. I cradled her shoulders. I liked holding Briar. Wasn’t a briar some kind of rose? Sweet but with enough defenses to bloom. I liked that—she’d fight for her chances.
“We’ll have to take a selfie. For digital proof.”
“Thought you didn’t like digital proof and journos, as you call them.”
“Reckon I don’t. But . . . I’m making an exception.”
Her lips curved up and her eyes sparkled. The weight from my chest eased a little and I could draw a full breath. “I’d like that. Ready to go?”
“Photo first.”
I grabbed her phone and positioned us together before snapping a few photos. “For posterity or whatever.”
She smiled again and the world shone brighter. I didn’t want to turn around and look at the building again.
“I know just the place to go.”
She snagged my hand, her cool fingers sliding between mine, our palms fusing softly. Something in me clicked, like I’d just latched into a safety belt. I followed behind her as she pulled me toward her car again. After she unlocked it, I opened her door and waited for her to slide in. Instead, she stepped in closer, her body heat mingling with mine.
“I’ve done a lot of soul-searching these past few months, Hayden. But today, with Ken’s comments, my purpose clicked.” She closed her eyes, reliving something. “I’m tired of closing off, pushing people away,” she whispered. “It’s all I’ve done for years.” She opened her eyes, filled with the fire of new determination. “So I mean it when I say I’ll be here with you. Through this. As your friend.”
I ran my knuckle down her cheek, marveling at the smooth, firm texture of her skin. “I don’t know how I got so lucky in the friend department, but I’m chuffed you’re here. And such a gorgeous lady at that.”
She rolled her eyes, and I winked. Walking around the car, I curled my fingers tight to hold in the fading heat from her skin. I glanced up at the building. Whatever my mum needed to tell me, I needed to hear. I could process her reasons and come to terms with her years of rejection later, but for now, she wanted me to know her side of the story. And I’d listen.
As I eased into the car, Briar’s floral scent wrapped around me, cradling me almost as well as her arms had just moments before.
Her lips flipped up in a sardonic smile. “It’s possible tomorrow will be worse. This is hospice after all.”
“I’m expecting worse.” I tilted my head back and groaned. “I don’t want my mum’s death to drag out. Too many people are counting on me.”
“You’ll do the best you can.”
“Doesn’t feel good enough.”
“Welcome to the club. Speaking of, my sister doesn’t believe I met you, Mr. World Famous Rock Star.”
I raised my eyebrow. I cradled her shoulders. I liked holding Briar. Wasn’t a briar some kind of rose? Sweet but with enough defenses to bloom. I liked that—she’d fight for her chances.
“We’ll have to take a selfie. For digital proof.”
“Thought you didn’t like digital proof and journos, as you call them.”
“Reckon I don’t. But . . . I’m making an exception.”
Her lips curved up and her eyes sparkled. The weight from my chest eased a little and I could draw a full breath. “I’d like that. Ready to go?”
“Photo first.”
I grabbed her phone and positioned us together before snapping a few photos. “For posterity or whatever.”
She smiled again and the world shone brighter. I didn’t want to turn around and look at the building again.
“I know just the place to go.”
She snagged my hand, her cool fingers sliding between mine, our palms fusing softly. Something in me clicked, like I’d just latched into a safety belt. I followed behind her as she pulled me toward her car again. After she unlocked it, I opened her door and waited for her to slide in. Instead, she stepped in closer, her body heat mingling with mine.
“I’ve done a lot of soul-searching these past few months, Hayden. But today, with Ken’s comments, my purpose clicked.” She closed her eyes, reliving something. “I’m tired of closing off, pushing people away,” she whispered. “It’s all I’ve done for years.” She opened her eyes, filled with the fire of new determination. “So I mean it when I say I’ll be here with you. Through this. As your friend.”
I ran my knuckle down her cheek, marveling at the smooth, firm texture of her skin. “I don’t know how I got so lucky in the friend department, but I’m chuffed you’re here. And such a gorgeous lady at that.”
She rolled her eyes, and I winked. Walking around the car, I curled my fingers tight to hold in the fading heat from her skin. I glanced up at the building. Whatever my mum needed to tell me, I needed to hear. I could process her reasons and come to terms with her years of rejection later, but for now, she wanted me to know her side of the story. And I’d listen.
As I eased into the car, Briar’s floral scent wrapped around me, cradling me almost as well as her arms had just moments before.
With a degree in international marketing and a varied career path as a content manager for a web firm at the height of the tech boom, marketing director for a high-profile sports agency and a two-year stint with a renowned literary agency, Alexa Padgett has returned to her first love: writing fiction. She is a card-carrying member of RWA, or would be if Romance Writers of America had cards. She’s also a member of Land of Enchantment Romance Authors (LERA), and Fantasy, Futuristic, and Paranormal (FF&P) chapters, where she’s met fabulous writers. She aspires to be as witty and kind as her writing family is.
Alexa spent a good part of her youth traveling. From Budapest to Belize, Calgary to Coober Pedy, Alexa soaked in the myriad smells, sounds, and feels of these gorgeous places, wishing she could live in them all – at least for a while. And she does in her books.
Alexa loves to read, especially her friends’ stories. She also spends a great deal of time in her tiny kitchen, channeling her inner Barefoot Contessa.
Author Links
Amazon Author Page
Facebook Author Page
Facebook
Instagram (IG) @alexapadgett
Twitter @AlexaPadgett
Website
Other Works by Alexa Padgett
Seattle Sound Series
Sweet Solace Book 1
Between Breaths Book 2
The Echo Series
The Spirit Seducer Book 1
The Magician's Ruins Book 2
Alexa spent a good part of her youth traveling. From Budapest to Belize, Calgary to Coober Pedy, Alexa soaked in the myriad smells, sounds, and feels of these gorgeous places, wishing she could live in them all – at least for a while. And she does in her books.
Alexa loves to read, especially her friends’ stories. She also spends a great deal of time in her tiny kitchen, channeling her inner Barefoot Contessa.
Author Links
Amazon Author Page
Facebook Author Page
Instagram (IG) @alexapadgett
Twitter @AlexaPadgett
Website
Other Works by Alexa Padgett
Seattle Sound Series
Sweet Solace Book 1
Between Breaths Book 2
The Echo Series
The Spirit Seducer Book 1
The Magician's Ruins Book 2
Soul Finder
(The Immortal Gene #2)
by Jacinta Maree
Genre: NA Supernatural/Dystopian
Release Date: September 16th 2016
Since being discovered as Soulless, Nadia has become a target for both terrorist groups and government corporations. Now, her only hope for survival rests in the hands of the man sent out to kill her: Diesel, the Mad Dog terrorist.
Diesel is determined to free himself of the never ending curse of reincarnation and the haunting memories that plague his mind. But when his search leads him to Nadia, a greater desire stills him from taking her life.
Unable to see into Diesel's cracking mind, Nadia instead puts her faith into his strength, fueled by eleven generations of unmatched rage and insanity. Their tight-rope relationship balances the two between life and death, love and rage, trust and betrayal.
Tension pulls at the hems of their dangerous companionship, and as time runs out all madmen must eventually make their choice.
Book two of the thrilling Immortal Gene series dives deeper into the danger of trusting your heart over your head.
Readers discretion: Adult language, violence and some adult scenes. For mature audiences only.
Add to Goodreads
Buy Links:
Amazon
Diesel is determined to free himself of the never ending curse of reincarnation and the haunting memories that plague his mind. But when his search leads him to Nadia, a greater desire stills him from taking her life.
Unable to see into Diesel's cracking mind, Nadia instead puts her faith into his strength, fueled by eleven generations of unmatched rage and insanity. Their tight-rope relationship balances the two between life and death, love and rage, trust and betrayal.
Tension pulls at the hems of their dangerous companionship, and as time runs out all madmen must eventually make their choice.
Book two of the thrilling Immortal Gene series dives deeper into the danger of trusting your heart over your head.
Readers discretion: Adult language, violence and some adult scenes. For mature audiences only.
Add to Goodreads
Buy Links:
Amazon
Beyond the bodies left on the ground was a line of faces huddled opposite us. There must have been another fifteen prisoners inside the bunker, easily outnumbering me and Diesel. They clung to each other’s elbows and hips, moving in a single awkward unit like a spider, long limbs and shallow eyes. All of them were men, with the exception of some that were mere boys, no older than fourteen. Dirty. Starving. Wild. They didn’t look at Diesel but watched me. I was suddenly aware that I was the only female inside the hole. That was, until the next prisoner dropped in.
A blonde girl fell through the roof, landing on her side. All at once fifteen pairs of eyes turned to her. I looked at her too. She squinted into the darkness, blinded as I was as the lid locked shut above her head. The wheel knob turned. She didn’t move. I pushed off to reach her first, but Diesel grabbed me and shoved me back. He covered my mouth again as though expecting me to scream. I wanted to shout at her to run. Hide. Arm herself.
Fifteen pairs of feet moved quickly. Diesel covered my ears.
A blonde girl fell through the roof, landing on her side. All at once fifteen pairs of eyes turned to her. I looked at her too. She squinted into the darkness, blinded as I was as the lid locked shut above her head. The wheel knob turned. She didn’t move. I pushed off to reach her first, but Diesel grabbed me and shoved me back. He covered my mouth again as though expecting me to scream. I wanted to shout at her to run. Hide. Arm herself.
Fifteen pairs of feet moved quickly. Diesel covered my ears.
Don't miss the first book in the series!
Soulless (The Immortal Gene #1) on Goodreads
Born in Melbourne Australia, Jacinta Maree considers herself a chocoholic with an obsession with dragons, video gaming and Japan. She writes a variety of genres including YA paranormal, steampunk, horror, new adult, dystopian and fantasy. Winner of 2014 Horror of the year and bestselling author, Jacinta writes to bring enjoyment to others while fulfilling her own need to explore the weird and the impossible.
Author Links:
Website│Goodreads│Twitter│Facebook
Author Links:
Website│Goodreads│Twitter│Facebook
Fall of Thrones and Thorns
Jennifer Ellision
(Threats of Sky and Sea #3)
Publication date: September 27th 2016
Genres: Fantasy, Young Adult
War hurtles in, a typhoon over the sea.
After Bree’s life was torn apart, Nereidium had represented a haven to her. A place that—if she could save it—was beyond the King’s reach.
And, at last, she’s arrived upon its shores. But things in Nereidium are not what they should be.
The land is plagued by a rash of mysterious earthquakes, the likes of which it’s never known. The governors are distracted by old traditions, while Bree and her friends grapple with changing identities and the sense that the longer they wait to take action… the greater the danger from Egria grows.
Bree is tired of living under the shadow of King Langdon’s power. And she’s tired of waiting for him to be the first to act.
In this final chapter of the Threats of Sky and Sea series, it all comes down to Nereidium or Egria. To Bree or the King. It’s kill… or be killed.
And not everyone will escape the battle unscathed.
Goodreads / Amazon / Barnes & Noble / Kobo / iBooks / Smashwords
Previous books in the series:
Author Bio:
Jennifer Ellision was born and raised in South Florida and lives in perpetual fear of temperatures below 60F. She spent a great deal of her childhood staying up past her bedtime with a book and a flashlight. When she couldn’t find the stories she wanted to read, she started writing them. She has an OTP, loves character analysis, and is a master of the fangirl flail, with a particular soft spot for fanfiction. She frequently bursts into song (and they are often of a Disney persuasion). Sailor Moon is one of her favorite things on this planet.
Threats of Sky and Sea is her first novel.
She also blogs at The Bevy Bibliotheque, where she talks about books, TV, movies, and other things that she goes fangirl over. For review requests or blog inquiries, please visit http://www.thebevybibliotheque.net to contact the blogger who best suits your request.
GIVEAWAY!
a Rafflecopter giveaway
Book Title: Almost Me (Phoenix, #1)
Author: K. Leigh Winters
Genre: New Adult/Contemporary Romance
Release Date: October 7, 2016
Hosted by: Book Enthusiast Promotions
Claire is months away from becoming an adult and she has given up on her dreams of the 'Perfect Sitcom Life,' giving up on being a normal kid, and giving up on being loved.
Irish bartender, Liam, has watched the fiery auburn hair girl with the emerald green eyes, the ones that remind him so much of home. The wild carefree girl is growing up to be a beautiful woman, but hidden in her eyes is a pain so deep that she is drowning and Liam is more than willing to be her lifeline, if she would only let him.
Will Claire let anyone in before it's too late?
Can Liam survive depths of her darkness and bring her to the light before it's too late?
A Note From the Author
Dear Reader;
This book has been a long time in the making even though this will be my first completed and published work. As a child through my turbulent teenage years I always had something to write on. Journals, scrap papers, blank book pages, I had them all and they were hidden everywhere. I had so many journals and all only had a few pages and maybe some even made it to the halfway point. One theme was of a girl, my alter ego maybe, who lived a life like mine but her choices and environment took her to a different path than me.
A few years back I had a serious case of the ‘mean reds’ and finally found myself in a place that no one would ever want to be stuck in, no it wasn't jail although it felt close to it. I learned a lot about myself from that experience and realized maybe I should've gone many years sooner but life has a way of going exactly the way it needs to in order to make you who you are meant to be.
Once out I finally found a therapist that I could work with, basically she took no shit from me and called me out when ever I tried to manipulate her or anyone else for that matter. I never do assignments but I thought I’d indulge her, she wanted a journal, yuck. So I decided she needed to know me from the beginning not just who she saw in front of her. I put on some work clothes and climbed my not too happy ass up into the attic of my Florida home and after 3 hours, a ton of boxes, and nearly falling through the ceiling a few times I found almost all of them. My journals.
I spent days reading them, cutting out important stuff and filling up my KnockKnock journal. There were bits and pieces of Claire everywhere and she wanted her story told. She kept me awake for days on end and after two months I finished her and Liam’s story and learned a lot about myself in the process.
I was for sure this was going to be a one time thing but then Alex needed his story told then of course Tristan and Evony who played such huge roles in Claire and Liam’s story with little hints of a budding romance through ‘Almost Me.’ Thus the Phoenix Chronicles were created. I wanted to call it the ‘Almost books’ or something of the like until my close friend and self appointed editor said that each of the characters reminded her of a phoenix much the same way she thinks of me. A phoenix will ignite into a fiery display before being reborn again. Some legends describe the phoenix as a large raven. Never less it is a symbol for rebirth and healing. Shakespeare refers to the Phoenix in his play “Henry the VIII”
“Nor shall this peace sleep with her; but as when
The bird of wonder dies, the maiden phoenix,
Her ashes new create another heir
As great in admiration as herself;
So shall she leave her blessedness to one,
When heaven shall call her from this cloud of darkness,
Who from the sacred ashes of her honour
Shall star-like rise as great in fame as she was,
And so stand fix’d.”
Each of the books in this series is about rebirth in a sense, Claire has faced many trails and in a way she is set ablaze but rises anew with a grace and beauty greater than before. Yes her story ends in a cliffhanger but I promise it will be worth it! Alex’s story deals with his addiction, which we saw snippets of throughout Claire and Liam’s. I look forward to introducing you to everyone of them and encourage you to please sign up for the newsletter.
Also after the Playlist read the first 3 chapters of Almost Gone, Alex & Naomi’s story.
Follow me on social media; www.kleighwinters.com
Facebook; @kleigh.winters
Twitter; @K_Leigh_Winters
Email; kleighwinters@gmail.com
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Letting Him In
Liam
It’s just after sunrise and in her world this is late but being it’s the day after Thanksgiving and according to Claire the only other thing the “Skater Mom’s” love more is shopping so for Claire this means sleeping in an extra hour. I still can’t figure how she convinced the poor rink manager to come in on his day off to not only open the rink for her but he even ran the Zamboni to clean the ice mirror smooth just for her. I am standing up on the second floor staring down at the newly laid ice, the smooth white surface even to me looks inviting. I jam my hands in my jeans after pulling my jacket tighter. This is the first time she has ever invited me here and at this hour it is not just freezing but strangely very foggy and eerily quiet. I can understand her affinity for this particular time here.
“Hey, I’m Brian.” I turn and see a guy in jeans and a Detroit Red Wings jersey that’s practically swallowing him up, a baseball cap pulled down low shading his eyes. He seems hesitant to approach me, shuffling side to side on his feet, shoulders slumped. I decide to take the initiative and step towards the kid extending my hand; he shakes it then quickly steps back.
“I’m Liam, thank you for this.” I turn and motion towards the ice rink below like a game show host. At that moment Claire steps on the ice wearing solid black head to toe, the rink is a contrast of black and white with her bright auburn hair pulled tight on top of her head in a severe bun. She’s skating laps around the rink going forward and backwards with dizzying speed and smooth transition. I am no expert but to me she looks tiny and perfect out there all alone in an odd melancholic way that only Claire could pull off with such elegant beauty.
“She’s something else isn’t she?” All I could do is stand there with what I assume is a stupid look on my face, mouth open and eyes wide. My only response, all that I could muster see she is shocking me with some amazing flying jump split moves, again I am no expert but she looks like she is jumping from cloud to cloud. The only sound coming from the rink below is an odd groaning or more like a moan. It is all sensory overload. I wasn’t even aware that I moved but I am now leaning over the balcony hands braced on the cold unforgiving metal railing. I am totally drawn into her.
“That noise is the ice, her edges are so deep and precise it makes that sound. It’s louder here cause the rink is sand based so it echoes from below into the acoustics.” I turn and stare at the kid who appears to be just as enraptured by her, my sweet girl. “Not many skaters can do that and you can only hear it when it’s quiet” Brian points up to what looks like AC ducts, “And humid.” I look back down at him quizzically.
“You know I’m just a simple Irish guy.” Brian seems to relax with that comment he chuckles and starts walking and I can only assume he expects me to follow. As we walk he points to a large machine, “That’s the dehumidifier, the owner won’t let us run it at night. He’s cheap.” He shrugs his shoulders and keeps walking. “You know there are nicer and newer rinks and Claire could have her pick but she stays here. Much to her parents dismay.” He winks as we descend a set of stairs.
“Anyway the humidity makes the ice a little difficult but she likes it that way. That and she doesn’t like to be here around all the parents when they come in. I don’t think she minds the other skaters too much. They think she is snobby but she’s not, she just tries too hard to fit in. And well the adults I think she could care less for them.” We reach the landing and Brian moves over to a cabinet and opens it to reveal a kind of mini DJ booth. I hadn’t even heard her approach but she must have because there is now an iPod sitting on top of the rinks boards. Brian seemed to be completely in sync with her needs because he just moves without prompt just knowing the little device would be sitting there at that exact moment. He turns and docks it scrolling through till he finds what he is looking for; he looks back over to Claire and nods in confirmation and taps play. The rink fills with the sounds of a sultry guitar intro. I turn and look at Brian. “How did you know?”
“I saw where she was standing, this program is amazing! Very sexy” This is the most animated Brian has been since we stepped in here half an hour ago. I raise an eyebrow towards Brian and he blushes looking down on the dirty floor.
“Sorry, um so what’s the story? It’s just that she’s never really brought anyone here during this time.” Good question, I’m not sure what to tell him. I look back and watch as Claire is skating very seductively, flirting with her invisible audience she makes a move down the ice and sways her hips from side to side then bends forward pulling her hair free from its confines, her hair cascades in perfect red waves down to the middle of her back becoming apart of her performance she moves down the ice continuing to sway her hips to the seductive guitar rifts and the throaty female voice, “…and I’m the only one who’d walk across the fire for you…”
“We’re friends.” I state plainly hoping it would be the end of that conversation. But to my dismay he doesn’t seem to be satisfied. “Uh huh, sure. Well all I’m saying is she NEVER let’s people in at this time. She tore Alex a new one a few months ago when I let him in.”
“Why did you let him in?” He doesn’t seem like the brave kind of guy to dare and risk her wrath that she is apparently infamous for; I am learning though that her tantrums are usually the result of frustration. A break in her routine, a change in plans, or her failure at getting her point across.
“I thought it would help her. She was just acting different. You know she used to come hang out with us? She’s actually kind of fun.” He pauses gauging my response, I nod indicating I’m listening.
“Well this is all speculation but you know most of us rink rats, uh kids that work and hang out here, well we’ve all watched her grow up here and you know a few years ago she really started to withdrawal and become, well not really stand offish just different.”
I look back to see Claire is now practicing a jump, she is doing the same thing over and over again, falling hard on her hips, back, and knees. I’m stuck in place for a moment watching her jump and fall, every now and then nailing it but there was no time to celebrate. She’d land on one leg in one fluid move and hold the speed just long enough before taking off again to try for another. Every time she hit the ice my stomach would drop and my heart would falter. I look at Brian horrified he isn’t doing anything; my feet move forward towards her when a hand shoots out across my chest, Brian shakes his head.
“I don’t know what you two are to each other but I can tell you she’d flip her shit if you interrupt her right now.” He nods at me and doesn’t release his grip until I nod in return, how strange this all is.
“Come on let’s put on a cup of coffee, from the looks of it your going to be here for a while.” I follow Brian back into the lobby and behind a snack bar counter where he gets to work on some coffee pulling out a bag of ground Starbucks I give him a pointed look and he simply shrugs with a lopsided grin. “Claire’s?” I ask.
“Yeah, I’ll not lie to you but I’ve had a crush on her for years but no matter how hard I try,” he looks through the window out to the rink watching her, “she’s never looked at me as anything more than a brotherly figure.” Seems to be a running theme with her. We sit in companionable silence at a booth in the lobby watching the morning news as she pounds away in the background withAWOLNATION blasting through the speakers.
Claire
I don’t know why I am hitting it so hard today but I have this strange feeling, this need, to punish myself and no amount of pain is ebbing these strange feelings that are clawing their way to the surface. I’m free gliding down center ice lost in thought, I don’t know what possessed me to invite Liam in, but I felt I needed to. I may not be able to open myself up fully in the emotional verbal sense but this is as intimate as I can be, here I am my most naked and vulnerable self and I wanted so desperately to let him in to see me as I am. Now that I have would it change things for us? For him, will he look at me differently? I’ve been pounding away and failing for almost an hour since I saw him and Brian move into the lobby to give me space no doubt. I can’t stop the constant dialogue running circles in my mind; will he think me weak and imperfect? What about my morning routine does it seem silly to him? Anticlimactic? My new show piece is very seductive and I only half assed the piece not sure how much to perform in front of him. Brian loves it but will Liam think it’s ridiculous? Slutty even? All this is running through my head and I have beaten myself up for some time now literally and figuratively it’s time to throw the proverbial towel in, which is something I never do until I am black and blue and practically crawling of the ice. I never relent when I am in one of these moods of self-punishment but for some reason today is different. I just don’t feel the need anymore.
I check on the boys again, I can see them through one of the windows into the lobby they are drinking coffee and watching the news. I trust Brian, despite his misstep a few months ago, to not spill all my secrets but I really am done and just want to be held by Liam. As I am watching him he turns his head around and catches my eyes it’s like he sensed me there that one move tugged at my heart a little but then he smiled. A simple facial expression but one that can be so easily faked but Liam never does, his whole heart is put into everything he does even in something as simple as a smile. My lips move of their own accord and slide up in a very contented smile and I feel my whole body relax in this one move. I wave then point towards my locker room indicating I am done.
I stand still in the shower letting the scalding water run over my sore body while resting my head on my arms against the wall. I’ve been in here for a while but I am processing so many feelings right now and I feel exhausted from it all. I am working hard on stilling the noise in my head when I hear the door open then close, “Oh, sorry babe I didn’t realize.”
“No, it’s OK I’m just done. Can you bring me a towel please?” I don’t think anything of being naked, I should, but I don’t. I’m use to the showbiz scene, being around people and having to change quickly. There is never any thought, I pull open the curtain while I wait for him but when Liam returns he nearly trips on the slippery tile floor and fumbles with the towel quickly opening it up for me. He’s looking up and away and mumbling apologies. I take the proffered towel and after wrapping my body I let a giggle out, “It’s OK Liam, I’m sorry I just don’t think of it really.” I shrug and his eyes bug out questioningly at me. I just shrug again to his now visible agitation, “Showbiz.” I state in a very matter of fact manner.
I turned away from him and walked back into my locker room it’s not pretty but in a way it’s mine, Brian found a couch, cabinet and mirror for me and the floor isn’t really that bad. I have a key so besides me only Brian can come in and I trust him enough not to do anything in here.
I walk over to the couch and snatch up the other towel then bend forward to dry my hair. Strong hands grip my hips and I can hear heavy breathing behind me and for once I am not scared, Liam seems to be the only person who can approach me from behind. I slowly straighten up and Liam does his best to keep his body, apart from his hands, from pressing into me. Silently he reaches around me and takes the towel from my head and starts to rub my hair in sections. When he stops I hear him walk away, I see the towel folded on the arm of the couch before I can turn to look for him he is back with my brush. Is he really going to brush my hair? My question is quickly answered when he starts to separate my hair in parts and begins to work on the first section. I sway a little from the intense relaxing feeling he is creating in me. Liam takes the cue and pulls us down to the couch without breaking from his task. Once I am complete Jell-O and my hair is tangle free Liam takes it all and sweeps it to one shoulder leaning in to lavish my other exposed shoulder in sweet slow kisses working his way up to my ear he nuzzles his nose into the skin behind my ear. “I have never felt like this before and don’t take this wrong,” he continues to work his mouth back down to my shoulder and takes my hand in his, “I don’t want anyone looking at this body but me.” Jealous Liam? Before I can really process it his other hand turns me to face him giving me hard and possessive kisses with such hot passion I have yet to experience from him.
“My sweet girl let’s get you home before something happens in here.” His eyes are actually twinkling. “I, unfortunately have school and work, but I promise you that we have much to discuss and the sooner the better.” I hope it’s a good discussion but I am terrified it won’t be. I push the uneasy feeling to the back of my mind and just for once live in the moment.
A Word About My Playlist
I have no horse, no boat and no land to hunt.
I think it is beautiful when it is rainy, overcast and cold.
I am kind of partial to spending my time with the people I live with, but I definitely have no aversion to spending time with the voices in my head.
I draw inspiration from life and I am thankful for everyday I am given to live it.
I am an advocate for mental health awareness and eliminating stigmatism through education and open conversation.
I love it when people ask questions because if I don't know the answer it means I get to learn something new and that is one of my favorite things to do!
I have an amazing husband and two wonderful boys. All of whom brighten my every day.
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