Goshen - Book Tour and Giveaway

Goshen: A Memoir
by Jordan Gerdes
Genre: YA Fiction Memoir 

Goshen is a collection that chronicles a battle with depression, heartbreak, and moving forward.

Written first as a collection of notes in a phone, this became the only thing that kept me alive over those few years. It is my hope that you find hope within these pages, a kindred spirit, solidarity, and know that you are not alone.


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From: CHRISTMAS AT 23

He was surrounded by people waiting in the falling snow, all hoping to escape whatever version of Christmas they had dealt with that day. That’s when he saw her. He could feel his heartbeat in his palms. Throbbing. His lungs were tight. His eyes were dead. His voice was sad. It was cold outside. But that's not why his hands shook.

They had sat a few desks apart during his senior year. She was cute. He was too much of an asshole for his own good.  And that was that. They rekindled their friendship one holiday break while she was back from school. And subsequently jumped into an ill-advised-long-distance-not-so-relationship.

No labels. No terms or conditions. It was just a friendship that seemed to mean something more. At least to him. She would call and ask him questions about his day and he would help her with her problems. It wasn't much but it worked for him. And one day, it just didn't work for her.

It had been months since they had talked. They had played the follow/unfollow game on social media only to follow each other again a few weeks down the road just to check in, mostly fueled by his jealousy and a few well whiskeys. She had made sense to him.  

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Jordan Gerdes is an English teacher in Central Oregon, where he lives with his fiancée, Justy and  their two goldendoodles, Huck and Finn. He is the owner and editor of Features of Fright, a horror website focused on genre analysis. He is currently working on a collection of short horror stories. 


Website * Twitter * Instagram * Goodreads

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Can you, for those who don't know you already, tell something about yourself and how you became an author?

For as long as I can remember, I loved books. My grandmothers were teachers, and I grew up on a heavy diet made up of the classics and fantasy novels. As I grew older, I found myself attracted to horror, and to Stephen King specifically. His part autobiography, part writing guide, On Writing, became a sort of bible to me in college. My copy is well worn, dog eared, and heavily annotated. I wanted to write something that evoked emotion in a reader, the same ways I felt reading ‘Salem’s Lot by flashlight in a tent while camping.

When I was in my undergrad at Portland State, I was going through a tough time. I know that sounds really cliche and all, but I had been diagnosed with depression and anxiety a couple years prior. Those following years became a blur of burying myself in relationships, self medicating, and going on and off my medications repeatedly. If I am being honest, it started as suicide note, but it sat collecting dust in my iPhone notes folder for a few days. I added another entry, then another, and so on. Over a few months, it became therapeutic for me to write down what was going through my mind, reminiscing on what had gotten me to the broken place I was in, or thinking about all that I feared about living for another day.

This is where Goshen was born. Growing up in church, I heard the story about the Israelites enslaved in Egypt, in the land of Goshen. For some reason, though my faith has wavered over the years, that place of trial and tribulation stuck with me. Though I wasn’t enslaved, I felt that I was in a place of suffering, of trials, and that I wasn’t sure I would make it out. The notes grew and grew, and I began to share a few around after a few years. Though it wasn’t horror, I noticed that the folks I shared it with identified with something in the words. Be it their own struggles or trying times, I saw that these words had a power in them to help others feel not so alone, to be seen, and to be comforted.


Where were you born/grew up at?
I was born in Bend, Oregon. I lived most of my entire life in Central Oregon before venturing out to college. It’s a place I hated so much growing up for being archaic, rural, and redneck, but the further I got away from it, the more I realized how much I loved being surrounded by mountains, forests, desert, and rivers. The attitudes around here are still very much the same, but I felt it was a place that I refused to be chased out of for thinking differently. So I ended up coming back here for my graduate program, and now that I have a Masters, I intend to teach middle/high school English out here this coming fall.

Who is your hero and why?
Stephen King. Hands down. The man is an absolute legend, who has constantly challenged himself to always improve upon his craft, as well as educate and bring new authors along with him. He had a lot of troubles in his life that I identify with, and really find a solace in his writing, especially as so much of it stems from his own experiences.

What are you passionate about these days?
My passions revolve around writing in some fashion. I found a deep love for research based writing in college, and began to write analytical essays. This weaved its way into a website, Features of Fright (www.frightfeatures.com) where myself and anyone else that wants to write think pieces about the horror genre. Currently, as an educator, I have been extremely interested and busy writing a comprehensive history of the state of Oregon and it’s often forgotten foundations as a white supremacist state. Given the current societal climate and the erasure of marginalized group histories, it has been a fascinating and often horrifying exploration that I hope to have out sometime in the next year.

When did you first consider yourself a writer?
I think I was first told I was a writer in high school, by one of the most fantastic educators to ever exist. I wrote a short story, fictionalized but very much memoir rooted. I thought it was decent enough to pass the assignment, but my teacher harped on me to edit repeatedly, which I was sure was a bad thing. He told me after class that he wanted my permission to submit it for a literary contest. I was pretty blown away by that. I think that was really the spark for me to begin to write more. After that, I would say I was a writer, even if only to make myself feel a little more important during those years. The real answer is the day that my copy of my debut novel arrived. Just getting to hold something I wrote, bound and printed, in my hands is a feeling I don’t think I will ever forget.

Do you have a favorite movie?
I have a million favorite movies depending on the day and mood. All time favorite is a hard one to really nail down. If I am really being honest, I would have to go with Stand By Me(1986), because of the comfort I have for that film. It was something I watched repeatedly growing up, and honestly, may have been the first exposure I had to Stephen King material.
It has humor, heart, and heaviness, all while giving me so much comfort at the same time.

What inspired you to write this book?
When I was in my undergrad at Portland State, I was going through a tough time. I know that sounds really cliche and all, but I had been diagnosed with depression and anxiety a couple years prior. Those following years became a blur of burying myself in relationships, self medicating, and going on and off my medications repeatedly. If I am being honest, it started as suicide note, but it sat collecting dust in my iPhone notes folder for a few days. I added another entry, then another, and so on. Over a few months, it became therapeutic for me to write down what was going through my mind, reminiscing on what had gotten me to the broken place I was in, or thinking about all that I feared about living for another day.
This is where Goshen was born.

What can we expect from you in the future?
I have two projects I am working on currently. I am in the process of writing a collection of short stories based in the horror genre. I am also working diligently on a comprehensive history of Oregon and its foundations as a “whites only” state, cataloging the injustices and often forgotten histories of marginalized populations in this state. I am hoping to have the short story collection out in time for Halloween, and the history of Oregon project out within the year.

Do you have any “side stories” about the characters?
Goshen doesn’t really have explicit characters, as much it does glimpses of people around the narrator’s life. Though it is technically a fictional memoir, much of the book is drawn from experiences I had in my college years. The characters are my friends, roommates, family, and the city of Portland in general.

What did you enjoy most about writing this book?
The easy answer is that writing this book saved my life. What I enjoyed most about this book was the therapeutic quality that I learned existed in writing my experiences into short stories without having to explicitly say “Today I tried to kill myself” or “I bought an engagement ring and it was a bad idea.” I was able to really reflect on myself and my feelings, how my mental illness plays into my life, and what it would look like from the outside in.

How did you come up with the title of your first novel?
Growing up in church, I heard the story about the Israelites enslaved in Egypt, in the land of Goshen. For some reason, though my faith has wavered over the years, that place of trial and tribulation stuck with me. Though I wasn’t enslaved, I felt that I was in a place of suffering, of trials, and that I wasn’t sure I would make it out. The notes grew and grew, and I began to share a few around after a few years. Though it wasn’t horror, I noticed that the folks I shared it with identified with something in the words. Be it their own struggles or trying times, I saw that these words had a power in them to help others feel not so alone, to be seen, and to be comforted.

Who designed your book covers?
For Goshen, I designed it myself. KDP (Kindle Direct Publishing) has a cover design tool that I used when putting the novel up the first time. However, in preparation for this tour, I redesigned the cover in a more professional manner, including a photograph taken by fiancee on our first trip to Portland.

If you had to do it all over again, would you change anything in your latest book?
I would have included one more story about how I met my fiancee, who was the person who really helped me pull out of the rut I was in. I wrote another twenty stories about her and those moments, but she has the only copy and I think it will stay that way.

What are your top 10 favorite books/authors?
‘Salem’s Lot by Stephen King
A Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
A People’s History of the United States by Howard Zinn
Frankenstein by Mary Shelley
The Fisherman by John Langan
Scary Stories To Read In The Dark by Alvin Schwartz
The Troop by Nick Cutter
Reasons To Stay Alive by Matt Haig
The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald
The Road by Cormac McCarthy


What kind of research do you do before you begin writing a book?
I like to create a sort of writing bible as I develop a project. If it is set in a different time, I try to base that as close as I can to reality. I look up calendars, almanacs, and anything that would be happening in the world around that time, just to pepper in some little details to make it feel more grounded in reality. Something I picked up from Stephen King is the use of music in his writing. Whether that’s mentioning a song that could be playing over the radio or the use of lyrics in internal dialogue, it absolutely places a character in a specific place in time immediately. The more reality you can harness, the less you have to make up completely on your own.

Do you read yourself and if so what is your favorite genre?
As an English teacher, I read all the time. I constantly harp about the need to not limit yourself to a genre. I absolutely love horror and science fiction, but I have been challenging myself to read a lot of non-fiction recently, some for research for a project, and some just because it is so interesting. Read every chance you get. Read anything you can get your hands on.

Do you prefer to write in silence or with noise? Why?
I used to be a write-with-music person, then I was a write-in-silence person after hearing that it distracts you if there are lyrics in the music. I found a happy medium by listening to instrumental soundtracks that correlate to the mood of the material I am writing. For my short story horror collection, I have been circulating a lot of Colin Stetson (Hereditary, Color Out Of Space) as it absolutely creeps me out and channels me at the same time.

Pen or type writer or computer?
Most of Goshen was actually written on an iphone, either while walking down the street or on the MAX on my way to school. When inspiration hits, you have to document it immediately. I tend to carry around a Moleskin for this purpose, but often, I will be walking through a store and a thought hits me. I pull out my phone, open Evernote, and write the line into a document.
For the current projects, I am writing on a laptop, though pen and iPhone still are used heavily when I am out and about and get a moment of clarity.

Advice they would give new authors?
Do it. Write it. Put it out. I spent so long convincing myself that a) I couldn’t do it, and b) that i had to follow a specific set of rules to write and publish. Self publishing is a grind, but if you want your work out, do it your way. Let the big publishers come to you later on, and just put your writing out there.

Write as much as possible, but don’t let it become a chore. There are days I write one word, and days I write fifty pages.

Finally, don’t do what I did and edit constantly while writing. It is detrimental to your creative processes. Write it all out. Chances are, like anyone else in the world, it will be a mess. But somewhere in there is a nugget of gold that will spring you to the next draft.

What’s the most difficult thing about writing characters from the opposite sex?
From a male point of view, it is so hard to escape all the patriarchal stereotypes that are embedded in you. The last thing I want to do is to use a female character as a trope or simply a plot element, so I typically spend the most time fleshing out these characters of the opposite sex. This takes time to think on, letting the character become a real person, what they like and dislike, how they feel about certain political issues, what they do in their free time, etc. I also bounce ideas off my fiancee to see if the character is believable.

How long on average does it take you to write a book?
Goshen took 3-4 years total, but I also messed around a bunch while writing it. My collection of short stories is going on a year, and my non-fiction history project is coming up on two months, and I hope to have a finished draft by Christmas. There is no right or wrong timeframe. It takes as long as it takes. Enjoy it. Let it write itself. Let your characters tell you what they are going to do, and try not to stand in the way too much.

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