Typo Squad Typo Squad Book 1 by Stephen Lomer Genre: Action, Adventure
Typos are lethal to 98% of the population. Be thankful Typo Squad is on patrol …
Richard Shonnary was a Typo Squad legend. He had a gift for seeking out and destroying errorist cells, and was almost singlehandedly responsible for bringing about the end of errorism. But one night, a single errant bullet fired by his brother prematurely ended his career.
Convinced to come out of self-imposed retirement after five years, Richard unknowingly gives rise to his greatest enemy — Anton Nym. Will he and his new partner be able to stop this latest threat before deadly typos are unleashed upon an unwitting world?
The car, a black SUV as it turned out, emerged from little more than a walking path nestled among the trees, then crested the hill, coming to rest with its front tires sitting on the stream’s highest bank, a spot that would not see water until the spring runoff. A woman stepped out from the driver’s side, slammed the door shut, and looked around. He could tell immediately by the way she was dressed who she was, and he had a pretty good idea of what she wanted. But as he was quite sure he wasn’t interested, he turned his attention back to his fishing as she approached.
She stood there for a minute or so, arms folded, watching him, but neither of them said a word. At last, her voice carried clearly in the near silence as she called to him.
“Are you Richard Shonnary?” It was less a question and more of a statement of skepticism, as though she could not believe that he was who she thought he was.
He looked over his shoulder at her. “I prefer Dick.”
“Some guys do,” she said, without missing a beat. “That doesn’t matter to me.”
“Good one.” He grunted. “Never heard that before.”
He cast his line back out and reeled in a bit, hoping the conversation was done, but knowing it was likely far from over.
“You’re not an easy man to find,” she said after a time.
“That’s by design,” Dick replied. “I prefer the solitude.”
“Doesn’t it get lonely up here, all by yourself?”
He looked back at her. She had plopped herself down on the bank and was sitting cross-legged, absently playing with some pebbles scattered on the silt. Her bright red hair, pulled back into a tight ponytail, had turned to flame in the sun.
“See now, I thought that uniform meant that you were with Typo Squad,” Dick said. “I didn’t realize you were a therapist.”
The woman smiled. “I am with Typo Squad.”
“Well, good for you,” Dick said. “Now if you don’t mind?”
“Don’t you want to know who I am? Why I’m here?” she asked.
“No, and no,” Dick answered.
They lapsed back into silence. Dick could feel the young woman staring at him, waiting. The minutes ticked by, and still she said nothing. On the opposite bank, a fawn poked her head out from the tree line and cautiously dipped her head down for a drink.
“Oh, all right then,” Dick said at last. “Make your pitch and get outta here.”
“My name’s Thea,” she said brightly. “Thea Saurus.”
Dick said nothing.
“And a pleasure to meet you too,” she said. “Anyway, I’m here to bring you back.”
Dick looked over at her. “Bring me back? Back where?”
“To Typo Squad.”
Return of the Wordmonger Typo Squad Book 2
The quest to find Anton Nym and his errorist army are put on hold as Typo Squad is called away to London to help one of their own confront a villain from his past — a mysterious foe known only as the Wordmonger.
Joining forces with Her Majesty’s Royal Typo Brigade, Typo Squad takes up residence in Buckingham Palace to try and draw out this dangerous madman.
With the lives of the royal family in their hands, will Typo Squad be up to the challenge of finding and capturing the Wordmonger? Or will history repeat itself?
Half an hour later, the announcement for their flight came over the loudspeaker and Dick and Ewan headed for their gate. Dick let Ewan go down the Jetway first, and when they boarded, watched the delightful confusion on Ewan’s face as he realized where their seats were.
“My goodness,” said Ewan, turning to Dick. “First class?”
“Last year Commander Peck told me I’d have whatever resources I needed at my disposal,” said Dick, grinning. “It’s a long flight. I felt I needed this. Since you’re with me, you get it too.”
They stowed their carry-ons and settled into their luxurious seats. Dick looked over at Ewan and nodded at the empty seat between them.
“We’re in luck,” he said, a look of contentment on his face. “There’s no one in the middle.”
“There was no one in the middle,” said Big, suddenly appearing and easing his bulk into the center seat. “Oooh, that’s soft.”
Dick was thunderstruck. “What the hell are you doing here?”
“Oh, you didn’t think I was gonna let you two have this adventure on your own, did you?” Big smiled. “Dick. I thought you knew me better than that.”
Dick tried to process what was happening.
“But how did you get a ticket?” he pressed.
“Oh, well,” Big said, “I bumped into Commander Peck at the gym.”
“You were at the gym?” Ewan asked.
“Oh, we’re gonna start right away, are we? All right then, you’re so old—”
“Big,” Dick cut across him. “Finish your story.”
Big pointed at Ewan. “Put a pin in that conversation, Methuselah; we’re not done,” he said, and then turned back to Dick. “So I bumped into Peck at the gym and I told him that since you guys were gonna be away, it would be the perfect opportunity for him and me to spend some quality time together. Wasn’t even half an hour later that I had a ticket in my hand.”
Dick laughed out loud, and even Ewan chuckled softly.
“Fine,” Dick said. “Just don’t start an international incident.”
“Me?” Big said with false innocence. “I am a model of decorum. I will hold myself to the highest standards during our British expedition.”
Dick nodded. “Good.”
At that moment, a flight attendant passed by.
“Pardon me, miss?” Big said, raising a beckoning hand.
“Yes sir?” the woman asked brightly.
“Just curious,” Big said. “Is first class pants-optional?”
The Typo Alliance The Typo Squad Book 3
Typos are lethal to 98% of the population. Be thankful typo squad is on patrol …
Typo Squad is dealt a terrible blow by Anton Nym and his new errorist cell, known as the Erristocracy. But when all seems lost, the tide turns with the rise of the Typo Alliance.
With a new headquarters, a new captain, and the arrival of some truly unexpected allies, Typo Squad is set on a collision course with the most dangerous foes they’ve ever faced.
Will Dick and his team be able to overcome the odds and make the world safe from typos once and for all? Or will Nym and his inner circle be victorious in the end?
Dick saw Big looking around and spotting a small coffee shop nearby.
“C’mon, kid,” he said to Hissie, and they both rose. “I’ll teach you how to get free food by pretending there’s a bug in it.”
They marched off, and with a long inhale, Dick powered up his phone. At Buckingham Palace, where his people and the brigade members had stayed, they weren’t allowed to have their phones. After several weeks of being out of contact, there were more messages and emails than he’d been able to brace himself for. The time had come for him to sort through them all.
The emails were, for the most part, day-to-day drudgery, and already out of date and irrelevant. He selected a wide swath of them and deleted them in one shot, leaving a manageable number.
He switched to messages. Some were from colleagues wishing him and the rest of the team good luck, or people just saying hello, but the majority were from Thea.
There was a picture of her with Autumn and Anna, all three toasting with wine glasses at Dick’s mountain cabin. There were snaps of her acting like she was kissing the phone’s camera. And there were a few that Dick would have to remember to delete at some point, but only made him miss her more in that moment.
The last photo was a selfie of Thea standing in front of the magnificent Church of the Pronunciation in downtown Las Palabras. This was captioned, “No pressure, but this would be a lovely venue for a special occasion! As you can see, subtlety is my strong suit!”
Dick laughed out loud. He had missed Thea more than he’d ever dreamed he would, and had actually been entertaining the notion of asking her to be part of a special occasion. The idea frightened and thrilled him in equal measure.
Just as he was calculating what time it was in Las Palabras, and whether or not he’d be waking her from a sound sleep, his phone rang and the image of his girlfriend with a great big smile and a silly, exaggerated wink filled the screen under the name THEA SAURUS. Dick smiled.
He pressed the answer icon and raised the phone to his face. “Hey, you. I was just about to call.”
“Shame, shame, shame, Dick,” came the silky voice of Anton Nym. “You should know better than to leave your toys lying around when you’re not playing with them.”
Stephen Lomer is the Amazon best-selling author of the hugely popular Typo Squad book series, the short story collections Stargazer Lilies or Nothing at All and Hell's Nerds and Other Tales, and the holiday novella Belle's Christmas Carol. He also has featured stories in the anthologies UnCommon Evil, Once Upon a Time in Gravity City, and The Dystopian States of America.
Stephen wrote the screenplay for, and starred in, the short film Typo Squad: Words Can Hurt You, and is the host of the YouTube series Tell Me About Your Damn Book. He's a hardcore fan of the Houston Texans, despite living in the Hub of the Universe his whole life, and believes Mark Twain was correct about pretty much everything.
Stephen lives on Boston's North Shore with his wife, Teresa.
Writing in the Age of Coronavirus
by Stephen Lomer
Okay, so, I’m pale, I’m chubby, and I spend most days in my own solitary company. Am I an author, or a victim of the coronavirus lockdowns?
Turns out I’m both. And while others are champing at the bit, eagerly awaiting the moment when they can resume their extroverted lives, I continue tapping away, my routine largely unaffected by the pandemic restrictions.
There is one thing I miss, though, and that’s working book fairs and conventions. It’s one thing to receive a report every week from amazon detailing how many people have bought your book, but it’s something else entirely to stand there face-to-face with someone and pitch your novel, and still another to make a sale and put a personalized greeting on the title page.
With the pandemic still in full swing, I continue to write and continue to publish. But are the days of book fairs and conventions gone forever?
I don’t know.
In the Before Time, in the Long, Long Ago, we authors would pack up our gear and drive to a hotel ballroom or convention hall and set up for a day of selling. We’d sit inside a concrete bunker for eight hours, 10 hours, 12 hours, breathing recirculated air and inhaling whatever it was that thousands of footfalls were kicking up from the carpets. We would shake hands and pose for selfies. There was no social distance of any kind.
For the moment, book fairs and conventions are shut down, and most are rescheduling for 2021. Will authors be willing to go back to the concrete bunkers and breathe recirculated air, shake hands, and pose for selfies?
I don’t know.
I’d like to say that once a vaccine is available and COVID-19 is just a memory that people will return to doing what they love. But for me, the true love is the writing. So much as I would enjoy being out there and meeting you all, for the immediate future, you can find me hunched over my keyboard, a bottle of diet Coke close at hand, doing what I do best.
Follow the tourHEREfor special content and a giveaway!